Saturday, 23 November 2013



Listeners of the Eleventh Hour Podcast are often heard to state that they enjoy just hearing Joe and Chris having a chat, even if it diverges them heavily from the subject of Doctor Who.

That's good to hear, because this episode is going to test the mettle of even the the most ramble-happy, Who-diverging crowd in that it's basically a catch-up chat wherein your hosts briefly talk about seven minutes of extremely good Doctor Who action in the shape of the Night of The Doctor mini-episode starring what's-his-name.

So, join Joe and Chris as they create the hotdog pizza helpline, cannot pronounce the surname of a long-standing listener and challenge industrious, voyeuristic listeners to both construct a timeline of Joe's personal life and define Chris's employers just based on the clues given in previous episodes.

Lazy voyeurs will also be happy to know that they can learn of Joe's personal habits when working from home just by listening to this single episode.

Men mentioned include Cliff Burton, Trace Beaulieu, David Boreanaz, Van Ling, Bo Dallas and - funnily enough - Paul McGann. Give it a spin!

And remember, THREE layers of pizza recursion is nonsense.

Image, once again, courtesy of Grande-Caps
Available playlist on Spotify

Listen to WAFFLECAST incorporating NIGHT OF THE DOCTOR!

Sunday, 18 August 2013

PODCAST: The Twelfth Doctor

"It's not gonna be him" is how both Joe and Chris responded to the rumours that Peter Capaldi might be cast as the Twelfth Doctor.

It's not quite up there with weatherman Michael Fish's 1987 comment regarding the possibility of an incoming hurricane but it's pretty embarrassing. On the plus side, we feel our error is less likely than Michael's to be used prior to thousands of amusing smash cuts to hurricane footage on nostalgia programmes about the 1980s, but we guess time will tell on that front.

Nevertheless, Capaldi it was. He is an actor with a long and varied career on stage and screen but who also played Malcolm Tucker in The Thick of It and so his long and varied career on stage and screen is generally ignored.

Can he replace this typecasting with another bit of typecasting, like Jon Pertwee attempted to do with Worzel Gummidge? We are ready and waiting to find out.


Available playlist on Spotify

Wednesday, 29 May 2013

PODCAST: The Name of the Doctor


Only joking, but we had you going there, didn't we? We didn't? Ah well. At least would explain why this episode was so late, and be more exotic than the real reason (Chris, writing here in the third person, is very lazy).

Anyway, that was Doctor Who series 7b. A bunch of question marks, followed by a really big question mark. You could be forgiven for thinking that all the events of 2013's episodes have been solely to set up the plot for the 50th anniversary, primarily because that actually seems to have been the case. Still, this is about The Name of the Doctor and whether we liked it or not.

Join Joe and Chris as they continue to baffle audiences with the fluidity of their names, decry poorly defined footsoldier villains, imagine being phoned by The Silence, retcon the Dragonfire cliffhanger and say "tele pls" as they transport their voices into the internet in order for them to be splintered thousands of times (or, to be honest, more around the area of 923 times).

Also: John Hurt. Sorry to hear that, John.


Image courtesy of Grande-Caps
Available playlist on Spotify

Saturday, 18 May 2013

EMERGENCY PODCAST: Nightmare in Silver

We were going to refer to this as "the most late episode of The Eleventh Hour Podcast ever", being that it's being released on the same day as the NEXT episode of Doctor Who but that's pure nonsense when one investigates the relaxed release schedule for the A Good Man Goes to War episode, the Torchwood double final and any given Christmas Special, and that's before you even consider the famously relaxed The Mind Robber episode.

Also, technically we still haven't released a proper episode for The Lodger, but that's because to this day only half of it exists due to some technical problems (Chris deleted his voice recording by mistake).

And speaking of those technical difficulties, we had similar ones this week which led us to abandon over 40 minutes of dynamite, top-quality material that you will never hear (featuring the brand new pseudonyms, Antoine McSkank and Ian Blast).

But, because we're us, we couldn't leave it without giving you chaps something and so here is our EMERGENCY PODCAST. Recorded on a phone in the middle of Best Friend of the Podcast Seb's 1970s party and without any post-production or music (but with an uninterrupted voicermail from Donald Pleasence*), it's the very definition of "the least we could do".

Also, we are far drunker than ever before on the podcast and frankly are still too drunk to be able to tell if this is noticeable or not. You fine, sober people be the judges.


*not actually Donald Pleasence.


Image, as has become customary, courtesy of Grande-Caps.

Friday, 10 May 2013

PODCAST: The Crimson Horror

The Crimson Horror sees Mark Gatiss finally ploughing the Victorian penny dreadful furrow after years of avoiding it and gives us the Doctor-lite episode that's the least light on the Doctor.

Weirdness abounds in Sweetville and it's up to the Spin Off Series gang to sort it out and save the day with the power of deception and laser weaponry. Will they?


Join Joe and Chris as they pour fizzy drinks, inexpertly read emails at you, talk once again about racism and non-consensual kissing and other stuff that is uncool and shouldn't even begin to be a problem, play Owner of a Lonely Heart on an out-of-tune guitar and generally do a Doctor Who podcast.

Image courtesy of Grande-Caps
Available playlist on Spotify

Friday, 3 May 2013

PODCAST: Journey to the Centre of the TARDIS

Fanservice is an awkward thing to pull off.

Unless you give people specifically, exactly what they want, you're probably better off not bothering. When the fanbase is that of Doctor Who, a series with wild differences in tone, presentation style and accepted continuity, then you're most likely on a hiding to nothing trying to give them what you think they want.

And thus it fell to Stephen "Lowered Expectations" Thompson to try to live up to the poisoned chalice of a title he'd been given to play with. Despite all the odds stacked against him, not least our own opinion of his previous Who adventure The Curse of the Black Spot, how does he fare?

Join Joe and Chris as they lead you on the definitely-not-infinite journey to the very heart of a podcast and, as you'd expect from such a fine, family friendly product, also take in talk of professional wrestling, "boning", The Simpsons and the pure hilarity of bigotry.

Also, just maybe, this episode may see the unnecessary return of CRACKWATCH!


Image courtesy of Grande-Caps

Friday, 26 April 2013


A terrifying thing happened to us when we were getting ready to record this podcast. A man, dressed all in rags, knocked at the door and then started screaming at us and clawing at thin air. We didn't know how to react, we just stood there transfixed in sheer terror. Suddenly, he stopped. "This is Manor Grove, right"? "No," we replied, "that's a couple of streets away". "My apologies," he said, "they are the people expecting the Insane-Screaming-Vagrant-o-Gram" and left. Thus our sheer terror was actually unnecessary in the face of this explanation. Then we recorded a podcast about Hide, the Doctor Who episode that disguises itself as something else and then deliberately dismantles its terror.

Join Joe and Chris as they talk about Nigel Kneale's brilliant 1972 ghost story The Stone Tape, Breaking Bad, the classic Doctor Who serial Ghost Light, dead bass players and as they manage not to play out on a spooky song, even after claiming that they would (unless, of course, you're terrified by Bugsy Malone, which would be fine).

Listen to HIDE

Image courtesy of Grande-Caps
Available playlist on Spotify

Thursday, 18 April 2013


In Cold War, regular Who contributor and consummate ginger Mark Gatiss delivers a classic Who-style claustrophobic yarn, complete with returning old-school monsters... OR DOES HE? If we were being uncharitable (and when are we anything else?) we might claim that sentence right there was more tension than Gatiss managed in the entire episode; the consensus on which seems to be that it somehow managed to combine several potentially-exciting ingredients (Russians! Submarine! Ice Warriors! David Warner! Ultravox!) into a fairly dull stew.

Still, there was stuff to enjoy about it, and no doubt some of it will come up in the episode. As will quickly become apparent, Joe was so tired during the recording that he can't remember much of what was said, although it seems that Cold War is not an episode about which much can be said. Therefore, he would like to apologise in advance for a sub-standard performance. He'd make some kind of self-deprecating crack about his performance always being sub-standard but Chris would probably tell him off for that. (Yes, I would - Chris)

Anyway, join us for chills (because it's cold, geddit), if not exactly for spills and wonder at what surely filthy story Joe requested was edited out of the podcast. Answers on a postcard.

Listen to COLD WAR.

Image courtesy of Grande-Caps.
Available playlist on Spotify

Friday, 12 April 2013

PODCAST: The Rings of Akhaten

Take it all, baby! Take ALL of this podcast! Take it right down into your ears.

The Rings of Akhaten, then. It's probably fair to say that this wasn't popular with your general audience, but do we fall into step with this general audience or did we think it was brilliant? Or, did we think it was broadly acceptable but with too many problems to ignore? Or do we largely repeat the anti-climactic Silurian Smackdown 2020 A.D. wherein our opinions are slightly more divergent from each other than usual? Who knows? We do, and so will you once you listen.

And now, our usual change to a third-person viewpoint for the next paragraph...

Join Joe and Chris as they pick songs, drink strawberry beer, big up Caro Skinner, fail to avoid bringing up Margaret Thatcher, differentiate between the two characters called Dennis the Menace (and Chris gets their creation date wrong by one year) and discuss an episode of Doctor Who without lapsing into song all that much.

And, yes, we mention the Hooloovoo.


Image courtesy of Grande-Caps.
Available playlist on Spotify

Friday, 5 April 2013

PODCAST: The Bells of Saint John

So she's finally here, performing for you. It's Clara Oswald. The third one and seemingly the "proper" one, but who knows? Well, the writer knows and he's not going to tell you other than via the medium of a television series which, frankly, is the point.

Join Joe and Chris as they wrestle with another new way of recording the episode and finding a day to do it on given their new, busy schedules as functional humans in the world at large.

Did we like Richard E. Grant's Matrix-style face? Did we enjoy the irony of the Doctor releasing hundreds of people from the same eternal living hell that he once forced on a beloved character? Did we enjoy Murray Gold acting like he was a Britpop band?

Find out!

By listening!

To the podcast!


If, after this, you haven't had enough Chris and want to hear him slightly drunk and talking about Doctor Who to people who should know better, hit up the - at time of writing - current Nights at the Round Table podcast episode.

Lamentably, Sharon of Sonic Biro fame has decided to stop uploading new Doctor Who screencaps. This is a shame but we wish her all the best. She has also recommended a successor on her site so, for the first time, we are proud to say:

Image courtesy of Grande-Caps.
Available playlist on Spotify

Pigeons seem to like the sound of my voice.

Sunday, 24 February 2013

PODCAST: The Snowmen

Nothing says "late February" like a Christmas episode, and with that in mind here comes the most delayed Eleventh Hour Podcast Christmas episode ever. For the first time ever, Chris has a synthesizer set up and frankly takes too much advantage of this fact.

Join Joe and Chris as they make the song "For Your Eyes Only" even more sickening, say ever more inadvisable things (almost immediately and throughout) and solve the riddle to "Doctor Who?" (it involves homeopathy). This year, we have a playlist light on the Christmas and Snow but big on the Tears. Enjoy!


Image courtesy of Sonic Biro
Available playlist on Spotify